A week ago God revealed himself to me in a powerful way. His spirit stirred me so deeply I truly believed I could do anything. Which, of course I can. For his word says that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” As I went through my week I relished in his presence and his glory. I poured myself into activities, leaving very little time for my quiet time with The Lord. I still spent time with him but it was more like small spurts here and there. He was continuously on my mind but the time I spent in his word and the time I spent in prayer and meditation over his word was minimal. I chose sleep over my morning quiet time and fit that time in throughout the day in and amongst other disturbances. What is my point? Last night, while volunteering my time at our church October Festival, I felt dry. Dry is probably the best way to describe it. The heavy presence of The Holy Spirit was no longer dominating my being. I was void of the joy I had been experiencing the last several months and felt drained and tired.
Today I woke up and negative thoughts began to run freely through my mind. I began to feel depressed and asked the Lord why. I didn’t understand, I reviewed my week and knew that I hadn’t done anything that would have triggered such an overpowering flood of negative emotions that I was feeling today. I spent about an hour repeating my prayers and mediating on his word. Then I began my housework, all the while fighting the myriad of thoughts in my mind. Thoughts of calling my ex-boyfriend, hopelessness, doubt that God has called me to do anything for him, feelings of sadness and despair and the strong desire to isolate myself. I asked God to replace my thoughts with his thoughts, but nothing changed, which is unusual because God usually steps in immediately upon my request and takes negative thoughts from me, but this morning the negative thoughts reigned. I continued to pray, concerned and questioning why I am once again dealing with this. I had a bout of this same thing 3 weeks ago and began to earnestly make extra time for him.
As I continue with my housework, the Lord bought to my attention my car and its fuel. I have a tendency to let my car run all the way down to empty before I re-fuel it. I am very lazy about maintaining my car. I wait until the last minute to put gas in it. The Lord revealed to me that I couldn’t allow myself to get close to empty because unlike my car which had the ability to run exactly the same regardless of how much or how little fuel it had, I could not. I couldn’t run on ¼ of his infilling of the Holy Spirit. For me to maintain his joy, his peace and his power I had to stay filled up on his word, and in a constant position of worship, allowing my heart to stay soft and open to his prompting and sensitive to his leading. It doesn’t take many distractions to replace God with other things and for me that means I open myself up to the attacks of the negative forces that once dominated my thought life.
I really don’t know why I would want to replace my time with him with anything else because what Jesus has given me is the most precious gift I have ever received. He sacrificed his life for me, so I can live a life free of sin while here on earth and live an eternal life with him in heaven. He has healed me and is concerned with all that concerns me. He desires for me to live a life full of joy and true peace and simply asks that I remain close to him. As I remain close to him, his strength, his grace and his mercy equip me with all that I need to live a victorious life free of the sin that once kept me in bondage.
I am free because our God desires us to all be free. I am free because our God hurts for what hurts us. I am free because our God made a way for us all to be free. I am free because I receive it.
You don’t have to live controlled by the sin and worry that has control over you right now. If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, ask him now to come into your heart and to be Lord over your life. Commit to follow him.
Matthew 6:33 says: “Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given unto you. God promises he will take care of those that earnestly seek him and seek to live a righteous life.
God daily fulfills his promises in my life. I am forever grateful for He is faithful.
Be Blessed!
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