Forgiven

I wrote a story in this blog August 2008 and I called it The Little Girl Inside. The story was a brief summary of my life dramatically featuring the death of the child in me the moment I was violated. At the end of the story I used the power of my pen to write the word forgiven across my abusers name, thus bringing that little girl back to life. When I wrote that I was standing on faith that one day I was going to be able to truly forgive this man that had ripped my soul in two.

My faith statement became a reality 2 months later.

Do you know how God did it? One morning in October was having my quiet time, praying and talking to God when my grandson came running into the room, upon seeing me with my eyes closed he apologized and ran out of the room. I smiled. In that instant God spoke a soft gentle word into my heart. He said "that was Tony once" an innocent child who was hurt and in his pain he hurt you. Next thing I knew I was on the floor sobbing heavily for the loss of that innocent little boy. I forgave him from the deepest chambers of my heart that morning and I began to see life through her innocent eyes again.

This June 2010 The Lord impressed on me that it was time to forgive him face to face so I went to his home and forgave him face to face, just like God asked me to. It was nothing short of a miracle. I felt no shame, no anger, no bitterness. God removed it all. Every last drop of anything evil God took, removed it from the root. As I sat across from him I stared down at my hands they were steady as a rock. I remember when simply talking about this man made my hands shake and my stomach turn into knots. And here I was sitting across from him with compassion flowing out of me for him and the pain he has carried in his life. I told him it was time for him to forgive himself and that God loves him. I assured him that God himself sent me to him because He wanted him to seek him with his whole heart and to lay down the past and step into the life God has for him.

I saw his pain as tears flowed down his face. I prayed with him and for him and left. Totally awed at my God! What an amazing God we serve!

The more I read his word, the more free I become. Staying obedient has brought so much of his very presence into my life. I never imagined my life could be what it is today. My eyes have not seen, my hears have not heard, my heart can not conceive the things that God has prepared for me. (1 Corinthians 2:9). He is not kidding. But more importantly, God is not a respecter of person, what He is doing for me He will do for you!

Praise God!